New Jeopardy Spin-off Show, and Scarlett Johansson Is Angry

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Today’s Number

220 — the number of calories in your toenail. Chew on that instead of a chocolate.

Television

A new version of quiz show Jeopardy! is coming to Amazon Prime.

In an attempt to capture the attention of a broader audience, the makers of long-running quiz show Jeopardy! will spin out a brand new version tailored to viewers with single digit IQs.

“Pop Culture Jeopardy!, seeks to attract an audience that has traditionally shunned quiz shows, mainly because they can’t tell their arse from their elbow.” claimed Caroline Egg, one of the shows producers.

To host the new concept, producers have enlisted Big Bird from Sesame Street.

"Big Bird is quite likely to be the last creature ever to have educated this audience, so we thought he was a logical choice," confirmed casting director Jose Hosiery.

The show's producers also plan on introducing new elements to keep the slow-witted, watching.

Contestants will be allowed to use a special lifeline button that triggers the appearance of their high school teacher who will then set about berating them.

Depending on the age of the contestant, the teacher may also have a wooden ruler with which they will use to hit the player.

And if players' teachers are unavailable, producers plan on bringing on their childhood bullies to execute a wedgie for old times sake.

Pop Culture Jeopardy! is due to air on Amazon Prime at some point in the future. Could be tomorrow, or next year. No one knows.

Technology

Scarlett Johansson is reportedly weighing up her legal options after discovering that ChatGPT's voice assistant 'Sky' sounded a lot like her own. 

According to Johansson, Sam Altman of OpenAI originally asked to lend her voice to the project.

Johansson declined, but to her surprise, a new voice for Sky emerged, sounding more like Johansson than Johansson. 

Reports have since surfaced that Chris Hansen, the presenter of "To Catch a Predator," was hired to voice the character. 

Hansen, it appears, has an unexpected talent for sounding like Scarlett Johansson.

"After 'To Catch a Predator' was canceled, I tried my hand at various jobs but voice acting was where I truly found my calling," Hansen shared outside a local school. "I do a great Johansson."

Hansen's impersonation skills have not only surprised fans but have also proved lucrative. 

With the earnings from voicing his version of Scarlett Johansson, Hansen is contemplating bringing the once-popular pop band Hanson back into the spotlight.

"I've always loved Hanson, and I heard that Johansson thinks they're handsome," said Hansen.

As Johansson considers her legal options, we'll see if Chris Hansen gets caught in the crossfire.

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See you tomorrow.

Deep