Trump's Lawyers Sniff Their Client

Today's email contains news, numbers, and opinions that you’ll probably tell your grandkids about.

Today’s Number

7 — the worldwide total number of Gen Zers who actually admit to using Facebook.

Politics

Doctors found a dead worm inside politician Robert Kennedy Jr.'s head yesterday.

The hope is that it won’t be made the scapegoat for anything silly emanating from that man's mouth.

But early reports suggest that the worm, identified as Scott Baio, was actually an actor who starred in the popular American sitcom 'Happy Days' alongside Fonzie.

Baio pivoted from acting in later life to become a professional vaccine dodger –in worm form.

Rumours allege that Baio was hired by Kennedy in a consultancy role as part of a wider effort to discredit Dr. Anthony Fauci’s claim of being the actual father of Fonzie.

And it was this family connection that got Fauci his position as Chief Medical Advisor to the President of United States.

How exactly Baio, the former actor turned worm, ended up inside Kennedy’s head is currently the source of much debate online.

Meanwhile, Fauci and Fonzie are still at large.

World News

If the television is anything to go by, the worlds all gone to shit.

But take a flight out of the country to see for yourself and you’ll likely encounter a hotel, some kind of chill lobby music, and souvenirs.

Report on that, CNN!!

Technology

ChatGPT is probably the worst named tech company since Google.

Yahoo was rubbish too, but nowadays they’re about as lame as their name.

Here are 5 other tech companies with weird names that should have seen success but for some reason didn’t:

1. Titbit — a wearable-tech start-up that measures ‘breast bounce’.

2. Aaaaapple — a Mexican company offering apples with bluetooth for consumers that prefer to eat their fruit hands-free.

3. Boogerie — a French online food delivery service selling snot-infused croissants exclusively.

4. OnlyScans — a content subscription service where users share MRI’s for people that are into that stuff.

5. Shitstainify — a DNA testing company that tests customers skid-marked underwear.

Terrible names but great ideas. No idea why they didn’t take off.

Image of The Day

Catch you tomorrow, Deep